a tidal wave

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What it would be like to feel the power of a wave. The force, supremacy, and raw strength to stride the way a rush of water can. To be something so soothing, clear, and gentle as it lies still in its being, to then erupt with motion, a warrior undone.

The way I look at such an influx, is the way I strive my heart to be. I pray for a humbleness that a stranger can smell a mile away; an ability to see through me in a way that is dumbfounding, nothing to hide or run away from; a child’s innocence that is looked upon with envy, rather than judgement; and then in an instant, pick up my armor and flood the scene.

To have a passion stirring inside of me so pure and so deep, that it thrusts itself outward like a tide and overwhelms the world I live in. To both feel the unimaginable ability Christ gives us, and to crash to our knees under His- living my life like an upsurge, but for God instead of the ocean.

What just happened to me, a few moments ago, is this sudden desire to bounce off my shallow walls and proclaim His amazing name to a world that isn’t always listening.

I was reading Luke 6: 27-30 “But I say to you who hear, ‘love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.”

I cannot tell you why this specific passage bred a roar inside me that has been unknowingly silent for quite some time, but it did. I had a movement within my soul that collected itself, built, and plummeted with a power that could be addicting.

I believe God speaks to us all in individual, specific ways, and He sure loves to choose symbols with me. A wave. So simple (and cliché) yet so miraculously in tune with my spirit that I physically feel sheltered and touched by His love.

What I have learned, mostly the hard way, is how dynamic explicit-praying is- that is, getting specific with what you need. I needed to feel something, I needed God to talk to me in a way that only I could understand, I needed Him to find a way to help me believe in His power. I needed Him to drown me in my own pride, and show me how to breathe through Him.

I prayed this prayer for weeks, and today I found myself caught in a tidal wave, grasping for the surface, and found God’s hand.

Sometimes we just need to remind ourselves to reach.