desiring more

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In most scenarios I consider myself a very visual, tangible learner. I make decisions based off logical fact and validation, I ask questions, think things through, request proof or artifacts. I do this in both my professional life and my personal life. I want to touch and visualize an outcome or movement. I can’t pick out the living room color without seeing it next to my couch; and I don’t like to make executive decisions about policy unless I read it verbatim in the manual.

Essentially, I work off information. I find myself assured and content in it. I leave no room for questioning or batter- I am confident in the decision and therefore the outcome. This is the way my brain works and when I stumble in life, this is usually the source.

I have found that my life, this world, has molded my thinking in more ways than one. I have lost control to the worlds’ will and I have lost myself in the limitations it offers. We are surrounded by a very real, very tangible, confined space; where the walls dictate our decisions and the floors manipulate our paths. We allow our minds to succumb to the desperate need for affirmation in everything we do and say. A simple task like choosing a paint color should not come attached with a potentially regretful outcome.

We should simply choose and love it.

The easiest thing in the world to do is make a choice. Because we can, and we should. The point is, there is only one true necessary decision, and with it, floods everything else.

John 6:29 Jesus answered them, “This is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom he has sent”

Many times, throughout scripture we witness those that walked with Jesus question who He is, and what He can do. We ask for proof, demand understanding, desire miracles. The superficial issue, is that we ask these things after having already received them. We crave more.

John 6:30 “So they said to Him, “Then what sign do you do, that we may see and believe you? What work do you perform?”

Witnessing Jesus feed 20,000 mouths was not sufficient for our selfish minds. How often do we see God change our hearts, forgive us, teach us, or guide us, and then ask Him where he’s at? We witness His divinity and His sovereignty daily, yet demand for His presence. Our nature is tangible and measurable because sin is the architect. When you dissect each sin, are they not both very real and achievable?

Our instinct is to run after the palpable, the things we can easily visualize and understand. I am guilty of desiring knowledge and logical conception. I examine my reasonings and measure their assurance. This process controls my mind and even my heart.

The brilliant truth, though, is faith is not illogical. My God is not obscure, untrustworthy, or without plan. I have combined the definition of knowledge with the definition of sight. I forget that my entire being and purpose is built on the foundation of predetermination. The most logical and well thought existence is us as God’s creation, and His only son as the sacrifice. I am living and breathing rational fact and proof; proof that I am a child of God and He will make straight my paths.

My desire for constant affirmation in my decisions and my life ruptures when God intervenes. The craving for reason and measurable facets are rendered useless under the divine plan of God.

We need to remember that His goodness and His provision never end. When we find ourselves asking for Him to show up, to love you, to seek you, know that He already has and already is. It is us that fall away, it is our nature to desire more sound proof and comprehension, but He has provided every inch of knowledge possible. We are without excuse. For we hold the very words He’s spoken and have the very spirit within us. We are fully equipped and reassured, all the time, that God oversees us, He loves us, and protects us.