"I am here." - God; on spiritual attacking
“I am right here. I haven’t left your side. Come back to me!” – God
I felt as if I was lost in a cloudy sea, floating outside my body, looking down on a corpse of un-success and deficiency. I couldn’t figure out how to reconnect my mind and heart, how to function in love and authenticity. I was in reality sitting on a chair, without a clue as to how I got there.
Spiritual attacking is a very real, and terrifying thing. It’s sly, for me at least, as if it was the slightest tear in a blanket but the breeze still got through. I put my guard down for one second, and the enemy entered; but he didn’t just enter, he set up camp. For three days I sat in a haze of lies and unworthiness. Trying to figure out what this film around my heart was and fought it with frustration. Tried fighting it on my own, with my personal mental capacity- as God was patiently holding me. I was curled up in His arms, and I didn’t recognize it. That’s what’s so unbelievable to me about God’s patience and pursuit. I can be within His embrace, blatantly ignoring Him, and He just holds on tighter.
Zephaniah 3: 17 The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save…
Daily, I remind myself that the strength we search for, the strength we need to move, is fired up and ready for action in the word of God. His promises produce fight, His love produces worth, and His grace produces armor. The characteristics of our Lord are far more than the feebly capabilities we have as humans. Our “fight” is nothing but a desperate cry to out scare the enemy; His fight is a roar of divine power and control, the kryptonite to the devil. If we fight towards our faith and let God handle the world, we are invincible.
You see, majority of spiritual attacking comes from a very vulnerable place. A weakness of human thought and identity. I had allowed my mind to wander in the direction of worldly satisfaction and applause; to measure my worth based on the worlds radar and the attributes we call flaws. I let the enemy lift up the things I hate the most about myself and shed light on all the details. My weak flesh took that as defeat. As if I had something to conquer and failed.
But God says He is the light of the world. So, this spotlight I felt trapped in, was actually the redeeming love of God, keeping the darkness just far enough out of my way. The things I felt destroyed by, were in fact the things God loves me through, the things He has freed me from, and the things that He himself has overcome.
So, in moments when the breeze comes through, and our guard has fallen once again, know this: that there is nothing that the enemy can reveal that has not already been redeemed. There is nothing that this world can convince us of that is not freed by our God. And there is never a moment that He does not patiently hold you in a sovereign grip, that does not waver amidst our wavering, nor loosen with our doubt.
He is there. He is never gone. And you can stand in the light of His unfaltering grace, always.